A little flashback from loneliness
by razorXroses
Summary: ONESHOT.. YukixShuichi.. Shuichi was lonely as usual, loneliness led him to drift off to old memories... plzzz read n review... he he...


hi hi... i suddenly came up with this... i couldn't write anything for the other story till i've goten this one out of my head.. so heads up... ha ha.. anyways... please read and review... ha ha... enjoy...

**A little flashback from loneliness...**

Like every other day Shuichi woke up earlier than our ever loving author Yuki. He cleaned himself and was ready to go. He went in to Yuki's room and peck a goodbye kiss on his cheek. he said goodbye but Yuki ignored it. he didn't even grunt his usual goodbye. Lately, Yuki's been ignoring Shuichi a lot. Till today... Shuichi is still trying to cope with it. He ries his best to entertain Yuki and give him all the affection that he can give. but the sigh never came from his dear Yuki. he left the house at 8.45 am.

A beautiful monday morning was ahead of Shuichi. He took a deep breath trying to tell himself that the day when Yuki's going to show affection is very soon. I'll just have to wait a little longer. Ganbatte Shuichi! He scribbled his way to work with his youthful glee on his face.

"LA LI HO!!!" expressed Shuichi." minna-san, o genki desu ka? how are you'll feeling?"

"ohayo, Shindo-kun" said K. "unfortunately i've informed everyone that today we'll be off except you. You uhhh left your phone here in the office and it was never an idea to disturb you and Mr.Yuki. well, we'll be on off today cause of some unavoidable incident. See, Fujisaki caught the Chicken Pox and now he's resting at home. so run along home now.. ta ta..."explained K.

"okay.. i see.. will Fujisaki be alright? i hope he does."said Shuichi and he left the building.

Shuichi's POV

well, where should i go? it's not like i don't want to go home, but i just don't want to be lonely. Yuki's will definitely be off to his work and most probably i'll be drifting off to sleep. hiah... what should i do? maybe i should just take my time home. he walked pass an arcade and went in. he looked for the one game that always helped him released stress. he exchanged the tokens and started playing. Dance Dance revolution always help him calm down and he's not bad in it too. he danced and danced and then spotted the karaoke-box. he went it and started singing. he got high scores for all except one song. the song Ryuichi Sakuma sang for Nittle Grasper, Shining collection.

well, after that, he walked to the park. he sat down on the bench and started to gaze upon the scenery.

wahh.. kirei ne... it's so beautiful, how i wish Yuki was here to see this with me. well speaking of Yuki, i wonder has he finished his breakfast. i hope he has it. he know it's bad for his health to drink coffee once he wakes up with an empty stomach. then shuichi drifted through what happened last week.

Yuki hasn't been really nice to me this week. he's been keeping himself locked up in his room again. i don't know why i'm sayin this but i really feel empty when he does that. when he throws me to loneliness. it really kills.

it's been a week already, he hasn't said goodbye. even if it's a grunt i would've been happy. waitng for him in the room is agravating. he won't come in until like what? five six in the morning. i ended up sleeping on the couch waiting for him. i just wish he could show at least 10 no.. let's ,make it 5 of the affection i gave him. Affection is all i want Yuki.

i know banging on the door is no use and i would have ot suffer for it.. but it's still worth it to get you out for even just a little while. and that cold glare of yours, it's gotten worse this week. i've never seen it this bad before. like the other day, when i just entered the house, it shot me dead. That's why i kept quiet that night..Yuki... are you getting bored of me? Should i just leave you and go away?

he sat down in the park crying all out. he didn't care if he was going to be laughed at or stared. he just need the little time to spare. to release his emotions. he can't do it at home. he has to show his SHUICHI-SUPPORT to Yuki.

does he want me?

does he need me?

Does he know that his cold glare is hurtful?

does he feel lonely when i'm not around?

does he wanna know what i do in the studio?

does it hurt when i'm crying?

does it ever ocured to you that all i wanted was love?

have you ever asked me how was my day?

have you ever seen what i do when i'm alone, waiting for you in the dark?

Did you noe that i'm afraid of the dark?

Did you know that i lost my parents when i was about 10?

Did you know that i had to work my ass off just to support my sister and myself?

all this questions.. have you ever asked me before? or have you ever tried to understand. i may look strong, but i am weak at heart. i don't have the courage to even speak up when you're mad or sad or i don't know.

Yuki...

all i want is you. that's all. i know you've had some bad lucks in the pass.. but the past is the past. i've gone through it too.. i don't think bringing Kitazawa out all the time will help you dispose every sad memories and feelings. so what if you killed the guy. did you know? i had to witness my parent's death, i was forced to. Imagine how i had to deal with it to live my life. it hasn't been easy and heck, i'd say... i've been hell lucky to live.Yuki, i Know i complain a lot and i'm loud... but this is me.. unless you want to change me... if you really do want that i will..if changing my attitude will bring your affection to me.. then i'll risk it all.

Shuichi sat down on the bench and cried all he wanted. it was about 4.35 p.m

meanwhile... Yuki was doing his daily work in his up tight room.

Yuki's POV

ring ring.. ring ring.. the phone rang. Yuki daged himself out to the living room and pick th phone up.

ywah.. what do you want? grunt Yuki.

ano Yuki-san, where's Shuichi? said Hiro

isn't he at work? he's not here.

K called it off today. he said someone having the chicken pox or something...

well.. he isn't here... Yuki hang the phone slumped on the couch.

ahh... don't worry bout him. he'll be fine. he gonna come back sooner or later.

back to Shuichi's point of view...

i'm still here. my tears are still drifting away. my legs are not moving like i want them too. i spot this loving old couple. obachan and ojichan walking together slowly enjoying the spring feeling... obachan helping ojichan walking. i wonder will Yuki and i will ever be together till we get old? ha ha... well it's just a thought. so i guess it's about time i headed home... what time is it any way?

what!you mean it's already 6.13 p.m!! i need to get dinner!ahhh... but is he free enough to eat dinner with me? i think i should just eat out tonight. He walked alone in the streets of Shinjuku. Noise every where. He passed through many stalls but each never had what he wanted. Along the walk he spotted working men staying out late drinking to unsober themselves. Going home late and drunk worrying their wives when they sit there all night waiting for them in the cold lonely house.

Shuichi got tired of looking for the Oden stall. he went to the nearest 7-Eleven. He got himself a nice cup of hot coffee and a bowl of noodles. He enjoyed the view outside the glass of the 7-Eleven mart. it was easy to find solitude when you're surrounded by chaos. a lot of things were goin on in his little mind. He had a mere flachback when his parents were murdered. remebering all the past hurts but it was what made him strong to survive this rigid world.

he walked through the night at a very slow pace. He kept walking then he reached a rather familiar street. he walked to the apartment where he and Yuki lived. He arrived at he front door and hesiatated to open it at first but opened it anyway.

Once he opened the door he was shot down with a cold glare starring back at him.. he stood there only feeling hurt. he arrived home and he receive the bloodly cold stare. He wasn't ready for it.

"uhhh... tadaima Yuki," trying to hide it, he greeted Yuki trying to avoid eye contact.

Yuki said nothing he just stared at the little guy.

Shuichi immediately walked to the bathroom and cleaned himself up. Inside he thought " He shot me again! That murderous glare would put a person to sleep in an instant.well i guess it's just me and Mr. Tv again.. " after taking his shower smelling like fresh strawberries. he walked down the hall way and knocked on Yuki's door softly trying not to be a nuisance. Shuichi asked Yuki if he would be late.It was obvious that Yuki would be late but this was one of the only few chances to talk to him. Yuki answered him but in a rather harsh way.

"What the hell do you want? I'm busy" said Yuki.

"well, urm.. i was just wondering would you be late tonight? You know you haven't gotten much rest this wee..." Shuichi was cut off in an instant.

" hey can't you see i'm busy right now?! if you wanna nag someone then go look for them! i'm not in the mood?!" shouted Yuki.

"owhh.. okay..i'm sorry" Shuichi was about to cry. All he did was ask. He didn't do anyting else. He got himself a cup of tea and sat down on the couch. He turned on the tv and watched. About a minute later, Yuki came out of his room.

" Oi, brat.. Don't leave your things in my office. I know you're goin to use the reason of getting it back to enter my room." blasted Yuki. then he threw Shuichi's favourite pillow at him.

"No..it's not like that i accidentally left it there htis morning. before Shuichi could finish explaining, Yuki turned around and went back to his room.

"Don't ever knock on my door! UNDERSTAND? NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!" warned Yuki before slamming the door closed.

Shuichi stood there starring blankly at the closed door. He was shocked to see Yuki so pissed when he didn't really do anything.

"I just left it there. It was an accident! Stupid Yuki!" thought Shuichi. He stormed out the living room and went to the balcony. He sat there starring out to the stars. He could feel anger rushing in his veins.The blood pressure rising terribly fast but all died out as he thought of what pressure Yuki had form his editor.

The midnights all a glimmer.At a glimpse of the midnight gaze everything softens up. As he calmed down the tiredness got to hom. He fell asleep in the balcony.

"Please stop i beg of you. Please don't hurt my family. I'll give you everything! Just don't hurt them."shouted Shuichi when he saw what was happening.

From somewhere else, another voice shouted."please, just let my family go. i'll stay. I'll give you anything you want!"

"Otosan" whispered Shuichi.Shuichi trembled as he recalled back this memory. It was the day his parents died.

"anything you say? are you sure you're up for it?" said Mr. Murderer.

"yes! anything!"

"fine, then i'll have fun with you." the murderer slipped out a razor sharp blade and slid it through Shuichi's father leg(let's just call him otosan.). Then as the blood came running out, then he poured a bucket of honey and ants on it. As the ants devoures the fresh cut wound, screams of pain thundered in the darkness.

"there as you promised. now leave my family alone!" begged Otosan.

"Nope, you're no fun! i'll just have to move on to your wife!"

"But you promised! PLease leave my family out of this!"

"What? can't a guy break his promise?" Mr. Murderer walked towards Okasan.

Then little 10 year old Shuichi dashed in to help his mother.

"Shuichi, get yourself and your sister out now!" shouted Otosan.

"NO! i'm ot gonna leave you here! i've already taken Maiko out! So don't worry about her!" replied Shuichi. He helped his mother up when suddenly Mr. Murderer threw a brick at Shuichi.it landed directly on his head. Shuichi could feel blood trailing on his face. He stood up and threw the brick back at he guy.

"Shuichi enough get out now! Don't anger him any more!" said otosan.

Shuichi charged at the man and forcefully tried to attack him." Nigero Okasan! Run!" shouted little Shuichi.

"trying to run away? Not while i'm here." Mr. Murderer picked Shuichi up and threw him towards his father.

Shuichi fainted at thhe hard hit.His mother got up trying to run for he life but luck wasn't on her side. She was caught. She struggled out of the man's arms as he tried to strip her clothes off. She screamed for help! Otosan stood up and went to her aid. He pushed the guy off her. Otosan held Okasan in his embrace. Mr. Murderer got up and stabbed Otosan at his heart. When Otosan let go of Okasan, Mr. Murderer grabbed hold of her.

"Wi wo wi wo wi wo wi wo..." police sirens were sounding.

Mr.Murderer immediatly let go and ran for his life. Little Shuichi woke up from his aching posture. He saw his mother holding the knife ready to cut her throught.

"Okasan! Yamete! Stop don't do it.."

"OKAAAAAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAN" screamed Shuichi as he woke up. He sat there shocked that he was having the dream.

Yuki walked towards the balcony and spotted Shuichi drenched in sweat. He walked near the little fella.

"Are you alright? You look terrible." asked Yuki worriedly.

"... I saw it... i saw it again." said Shuichi as his tears began to fall.

"saw what? come on tell me" as he embraced Shuichi in his arms..

" i saw how my parents died. i remembered everything i thought i had forgottened.i don't want to remember but it came back! Make it go away!" cried Shuichi as he burried his head on Yuki's chest.

Shuichi rocked his little rockstar back and forth claiming that it's okay.

"please Yuki don't leave me like they did! i don't want anything to happen to you or anyone." cried Shuichi.

"i'm not gonna leave you.. i promise. i will never leave you! i can't live wihtout you.. do you know that? you're the air that i breath. you are what makes my grass green. i'm gonna keep you by my side for all eternity." said Yuki.

"for real Yuki?" asked Shuichi.

"for real.i admit that i've been hard on you for the past week.i'm sorry bout that, it's just that i had too many dealines to meet. eventhough i say harsh words at you, be mean to you, and kick you out of the house sometimes, i still love you." Yuki leaned down and gave his little cutie pie soft passionate kiss.

"Shuichi... let's go to bed.." said Yuki.

" i'm okay.. i can go to bed my self.. you've got your deadlines ahead of you." relpied Shuichi trying to be convinving that he was alright.

"deadlines smeadlines.. it can wait... your far more important..." assured Yuki.

"Yuki, i Love you..." said Shuichi...

" I love you too, brat!" whispered Yuki into Shuichi's ear and carried him bridal style to thier room.

Yuki held Shuichi tightly while Shuichi snuggled closer to Yuki. They both had drifted off to slumberland in mere minutes with each others warmth.

Some where in shuichi's mind... Jumped a little small pink haired boy.. he kept on shouting Hurray.. Yuki loves me!! yahoo...

X X - OwArI-XX


End file.
